Loss of a Child – Where Did He Go?

We’re not talking about the grocery store kind of lost child. We’re talking about true loss! The loss of a child. Death.

I’ve lost a child.

We’ve lost a child.

I’m not the only one who has lost a child. It’s not just about me and my loss. It’s my husband. He experienced the loss right alongside me. Our children experienced the loss of their brother. The only brother they had. Lost. Never to be known. Our parents experienced loss. Our friends experienced loss. Our fellow congregational members experienced the loss too. It affects more people than ‘I’. I can’t sit in self-pity and think ‘woe is me’ when so many others have also experienced this unbelievable pain.

Read How to Cope – A Loved One Goes Home here.

It was a shock to the system when we got word that our twins were in distress. In utero, at around 27 weeks, our son had contracted congestive heart failure after I had undergone an extensive emergency appendectomy only three weeks prior. Our daughter seemed to be untouched by the occasion.

Up until then, all was well! Doctors had monitored the babies before, during and after the appendectomy and they were healthy! So imagine the surprise we got when, one day, we heard no heartbeat and our son was pronounced dead. In utero. While his sister remained unscathed. Healthy. And continuing to grow.

She experienced loss. Ultra sound pictures showed that she tried to wrap her body around his. As if to hug him. Another one showed her face reaching his head as if to kiss him. The love that tiny 29-week-old baby showed in utero toward her twin brother has not been forgotten. She is now a healthy 5 year old and shows that kind of love to all around her on a daily basis. She has experienced loss.

Loss is such a sad concept. Did we ‘lose’ him?

I know exactly where my child is. How is it loss, if I know where he is?

We’re Christians.

My husband is a pastor.

We read devotions to our kids every day. We go to church every week. We pray before every meal. And although my son had not yet been born, he had little ears to hear God’s messages. He was blessed by the prayers our family spoke when asking the LORD to keep him safe and to be loved by Jesus.

Loss of a child? Where did he go? I know exactly where my child is! It’s not loss when I know that when he died, he went to Heaven! That’s a WIN!
I have every confidence of this! We did not keep Jesus, our Savior, a secret from our unborn twins! Our son had a knowledge of his Savior, even in utero, before Jesus called him Home.

So next time we talk about a loved one gone too soon, let’s use a different word to express our loss.  Let’s say, “He went Home!”

Jesus holds him now!
What comfort that brings!

Dear Jesus, Please especially be with hurting parents today. Comfort our hearts as we go through this great pain of a child who went Home. We think it’s too soon, Lord, but help us trust your timing. Heal us. Protect us. Provide support. We ask this in Your Name. Amen.